Written for the Dear John Flash Fiction contest on Figment. O! the monotony of it all! Sherlock is bored, so he’s taken to letter-writing. Bear in mind that I have only seen two, yes, two, episodes of BBC’s Sherlock (and only one episode of Elementary) in my entire life, yet I’ve been told multiple times that my portrayal of the character is just “SO Sherlock.”
My Dear Watson
(by Allison Rose)
My Dear Watson,
I hope that you are enjoying your trip to wherever it was you said you were going. I’m sure it’s boring; it would be for me.
Yet, back in our humble lodgings at Baker Street, I remain as bored as ever. O! the monotony of it all! I’m out of nicotine patches and Mrs. Hudson is constantly reminding me of the ever-increasing price of cigarettes; therefore, I must abstain from my expensive hobby.
That Molly woman came by for a visit the other day with a bunch of movies she said she’d rented. Of course, I could tell from the way she was concealing the labels that she’d actually just downloaded pirated files from some website owned by a teenage hacker living somewhere in Bangladesh, and then put them onto a few discs. The hastily-written handwriting (a dead giveaway anyhow) on the labels also suggested that she’d tried and failed to transfer the files quite a few times before finally succeeding. Perhaps the one mystery I will never solve is why she tries so hard.
Needless to say, the movies were incredibly boring. Mycroft would have loved the string arrangements of the scores, I’m sure, although the musicianship seemed highly mediocre to my ears.
When you return, please tell me if I am wrong: you are only reading this on the train ride back home, even though it arrived nearly a fortnight ago.