Posted in Absurdity, Doctor Who, Figgies in the TARDIS, Flash Fiction, Genres, Humor, Satire, Short Stories, Talking Animals, Written Works

“The Life of Who” (Flash Fiction)

On a whim, I wrote this the day after the BBC aired this year’s Doctor Who Xmas special.

I’ve never seen or read The Life of Pi, but from what I’d seen of the Academy Awards a few years back, I had a feeling I knew exactly how the story’s protagonist felt when he discovered he wasn’t alone in that lifeboat.

I looked about myself, taking in my surroundings.  Blue ocean, everywhere.  Not even the tip of an iceberg protruded from the flat, empty horizon.  We were lost at sea.The Life of Who

As a low, rumbling growl sounded from the only other terrestrial mammal present, five thoughts coursed through my head in rapid, lightning-fast succession:

1) I should’ve gone with the others when Jack offered to drive them to the mall.  (Seriously, you’ve access to anywhere and anytime in the world, and you have to go to the mall?!)  Maybe then I wouldn’t be here.

2) Sharks like blood.  If I hadn’t stayed behind, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten that paper cut.  Or was that a fixed event in time anyhow?

3) Tyler shouldn’t have fixed the Chameleon Circuit.  The wooden rowboat look doesn’t suit the TARDIS.

4) Why did I let the Little Master put that deodorant bottle in the oven?  I could’ve sworn it said ‘AXE’, but it could very well have said ‘ACE’….

5) Well, the Doctor’s definitely a ginger now.  A large, quadrupedal, striped, carnivorous ginger at that.  And this time around, he definitely isn’t craving apples.

How did that guy from The Life of Pi survive?

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