Please note that this is a semi-revised version of my Doctor Who fanfic. The Doctor here is now nine thousand years old, as opposed to nine hundred (which would be canonically incorrect). This cuts me plenty of slack between when Matt Smith became Peter Capaldi and when the Doctor eventually regenerates into this young man portrayed here. (I’m confidant that Mr. Moffat will figure out a way for the Doctor to have infinite regenerations at some point in the future.)
Usually, after I regenerate, I tend to act all mad and silly, but this time, I bawled my eyes out like a little kid.
Really, a few factors contributed to this. For starters, the TARDIS seemed so much bigger than I remembered it to be. The ceiling looked taller and scarier, as though it might snatch me up off my feet if I looked up at its centre.
Also, when I started to walk, my trousers were way too long for me, so I tripped and fell and scraped my knee. That was what really did me in.
Wiping the salty tears from my cheeks, which felt much doughier than I would have expected, I began my walk through the TARDIS, in search of better-fitting clothes. Needless to say, my shoes were way too big as well.
In the closet, which turned out to be adjacent to the coveted library with the swimming pool, I went through all of the old clothes that I had accumulated over the last nine hundred and one years. Just like the rest of the TARDIS, it regenerates, and the space expands to accommodate my ever-growing collection of clothes. I found several of my old pinstripe suits hanging in one compartment, as well as my favorite scarf, which I hadn’t touched in years. I glanced distastefully at my collection of old bow ties, wondering what gotten into me that I’d believed they were so cool.
But nothing I picked out fit me. Had I become a munchkin?
I looked in one last compartment. It smelled old and musty in there, like I hadn’t gone through its contents in ages – which was true. It contained some children’s clothes which I could never come up with a good explanation for. It was just too painful to try and think about.
I felt more tears coming as I put on a worn pair of knickers and a green button-down shirt. Everything about them was all too familiar.
When I was finished dressing, I turned around to examine my appearance in the mirror. I wasn’t prepared for the sight that met my eyes.
I was a child!
And then, I realized, I was a redhead too! It was as if my tears had never existed now; I’d always wanted to be a redhead….
All of a sudden, I had this uncontrollable urge to have fun, to go outside and play, and be just like all of the other children. I couldn’t fight it. I had to give in.
TARDIS stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It can take you anywhere you want to go. If you can reach the controls, which I could not.
Back to the closet, to look for Susan’s old step stool, which I’d had made for her back on Gallifrey when she was too short to reach the sink. Now, I was too short to reach the dashboard. If only she could see me now!
I found the stool among a bunch of old toys I’d forgotten to give to the Ponds when Melody was born. Now, I could reach whatever controls I wanted.
The TARDIS took me to a playground in New New York, which was positively packed with kids of all ages. The words of my favorite poem from A Child’s Garden of Verses immediately filled my head.
How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!
“Indeed, indeed,” I said aloud, realizing only now just how high-pitched and squeaky my voice sounded, as I exited the TARDIS and came out onto the biggest playground in the history of the universe!
“How old are you, sweetie?” a woman standing by the swing set asked me as I ran by. At my height, I couldn’t quite see her face, but I caught a glimpse of curly blond hair that reached to her shoulders. She looked somewhat familiar….
“Well,” I began a little uncertainly, clasping my hands behind my back in the perfect, innocent little boy pose. “I’m only nine … THOUSAND AND ONE YEARS OLD!”