Writerly Conversation Tidbits

When you tell people you’re a writer is a surprisingly good conversation starter. Below, I’ve compiled a list of stuff people usually say to me, either after they find out I write, or while I’m actually trying to get some writing done. 😛

  • Can I be in your next book?  Can I be the one who saves everybody and stuff?
  • I’m trying to write a book too, but I have no ideas.  What should I write about?
  • Y’know, writing doesn’t pay the bills.  Don’t make this your day job.
  • You really shouldn’t try to write a whole novel just yet.  I tried it once, and it’s too hard.  You should stick to just short stories.
  • I’m not a writer myself or anything, so I can’t say I know what I’m talking about, but *dispenses bad advice about writing, really doesn’t know what they’re talking about*
  • Don’t write a novel now – wait until you’re older.  All the best authors were already adults when they got published.
  • Wow, you type really fast!
  • Allie, would you please put your phone down and stop texting at the table?  It’s so impolite! *rants about teenagers being super-glued to their phones*
  • Why do you keep writing in that diary all the time?
  • I heard of this really cool thing called NaNoWriMo.  It happens every … December, I think.  You should totally check it out.
  • Oh hey, long time no see.  Are you still writing books and stuff?
  • This writer thing is just a phase, right?
  • Can I write your book with you?  I want to be famous too!
  • Your mom told me you’re trying to write the next great American novel….  Dawww, that’s so cute!
  • …When you become rich and famous like Stephen King / J.K. Rowling / George R.R. Martin / Cassandra Clare / Stephanie Meyer / Suzanne Collins….
  • Oh, are you writing the next Harry Potter?
  • Oh, are you writing the next Percy Jackson?
  • Oh, are you writing the next Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys?
  • Oh, are you writing the next Hunger Games?
  • Allison, since you published your book, can you help me publish this Star Wars fanfiction I’ve been working on for the past eight years?
  • I bet you’ve sold a million copies of your book already!  You must be rich!
  • What?  You can’t afford [expensive thing]?  Why not use the money you earned from selling your books?
  • I found this really cool writing contest that a million young writers enter in each year. It’s really famous so you should totally enter.  There’s a $50 entry fee, but the grand prize winner can win a $25 gift card to Kindle!
  • Don’t waste your life on that silly writing stuff.  Go pursue a career in STEM.  We need more women in these fields!
  • You wrote a book?  Wow, how old are you?
  • I can’t believe I know with a real, live author who’s only *teen years old!
  • Are you writing an original story?  Because my sister’s nephew, who’s your age, only writes these dreadful fanfiction things.
  • Can I read your manuscript?  … Aw, why not?  … But I thought we were friends!
  • Hey, since you’re a writer, can you help me write this [non-fiction-related thing]?
  • *Random (usually pessimistic) comparison to Christopher Paolini, or other kid-authors*
  • So, are you still trying to write that novel?

What sort of unusual writerly conversation tidbits have you heard?   Share ’em below! 🙂

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